Blog / Child Custody

3 Keys to Making Holiday Custody Work for You

holiday custody children child

Plenty can happen to make the holiday season stressful. Simply knowing they’re just around the corner is bad enough; then there’s dealing with shopping, meal preparations and family obligations. The last thing you want is to fight with your former spouse about how much time each of you will get to spend with your son or daughter.

Every good parent wants to spend every holiday and special occasion with their children. Depending on a family’s custody arrangements and personal circumstances, though, doing so may not be possible. In almost all cases, compromise is essential.

To give you the best chance at a stress-free holiday season, we’ve compiled three key components for dealing with custody during the holidays.

Make a Schedule and Stick to it

Whether it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year’s, having a set schedule is the foundation for a strong, healthy custody arrangement.

Holidays should always be split equally between each parent. The first step may be to divide holidays based on the current custody arrangements. Once you know which holidays fall during a specific parent’s schedule, it becomes easier to decide how to divide the holidays accordingly.

If both parents wish to spend certain holidays with the child, consider sharing the holiday, wherein one parent has the child in the morning and the other in the evening. You may also consider alternating years, which can best help relieve a child’s stress level.

Whatever’s agreed upon, a clear schedule mitigates confusion, anger and fighting among parents and provides security and a more positive experience for the child.

Don’t fight the change; Embrace it.

No matter what schedule you agree upon, sharing custody will never be easy if you continue to try and recreate the past. To fully appreciate the future, you must move forward, not backward.

First and foremost, acknowledge that things will be different in years to come and embrace these changes by remaining flexible when it comes to creating new traditions with your child.

Communicate

The ultimate key to maintaining a strong relationship with your former spouse and children during the holidays is, and always will be, communication.

Things change over time. Emergencies happen, work issues come up, children’s moods change. No matter the case, communicating with your spouse and child when things do change will reduce the amount of stress and anger that may be generated by sudden, unexpected deviations from the agreed upon schedules.

What if you aren’t on speaking terms with your former spouse? There are apps that can be used to share schedules, send photos, and setup a social network for family and friends. This also helps guarantee all changes are in writing so that no one can make excuses for not following through with their commitments.


The holidays are meant to be fun. If you follow these key steps, take care of your own physical and mental health, and intentionally spend time with other friends and family, you should have no trouble giving thanks for your many blessings this holiday season.

Posted in:

Related Posts

child custody jurisdiction

Child Custody Jurisdiction—5 Things You Need to Know

John and Mary got a divorce and filed a custody arrangement. Now, Mary wants to move to a new state and take her child with her. She files a petition for custody modification in her new state. Unfortunately, the court denies her request because the state does not have jurisdiction. Child custody isn’t just about filing paperwork, explaining your case to the judge, and receiving a judgement. You must also have jurisdiction. What does that mean? Here are five important details you should know when dealing with child custody jurisdiction. 1. Jurisdiction—A Definition Jurisdiction grants a court the right to exercise their authority and apply the law. In other words, it’s the right of the court to hear and decide your case. 2. The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) For the court to hear and consider child custody or visitation rights, a state must first have jurisdiction over the child. So, what state has jurisdiction? To provide blanket enforcement rules across the nation, the National Conference of Commissioners on Uniform State Laws drafted the UCCJEA. It clarifies that the child’s home state, or the state in which the child has lived for six continuous months, holds jurisdiction over the child. The act also includes uniform procedures for the registration and enforcement of custody orders across state lines. The UCCJEA was drafted in part to keep parents from shopping for a more favorable court. Massachusetts is the only state (including the territories of D.C., Guam, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands) that has not adopted the UCCJEA. 3. Continuing Jurisdiction Once custody has been heard and decided in court, that state maintains continuing and exclusive jurisdiction over the child up and until significant connection to the state changes or dissolves, or neither parent lives in that state any longer. 4. UCCJEA Exceptions Exceptions to the UCCJEA include: When a child hasn’t lived in a state for six consecutive months. Jurisdiction then falls to the state where the child has lived the longest and to which the child has significant connections (i.e. family and friends). A court outside of the child’s home state files a temporary emergency order due to child abuse or domestic violence. Adoption, juvenile delinquency, emancipation, or emergency medical care. When a parent or guardian has sole legal and physical custody. If foreign custody orders have not been adopted and recognized by the U.S. 5. Kidnapping and Child Abduction Moving to another state without having sole legal and physical custody, or having a custody arrangement to do so, could be deemed by state law as kidnapping. However, if the parent files for an emergency order in another state, the laws behind the definition of kidnapping become grayer. In the same vein, moving to another country without an official custody order could constitute international child abduction. To avoid these issues, consult an attorney who understands the UCCJEA before removing a child from their home state.

child custody joint legal physical children school change

Changing Your Child’s School When Joint Custody Is Involved

Have you been thinking of changing your child’s school? With all schools closed for the time being due to the impact of COVID-19, and some states, including California, stating they may remain closed until the near year begins in September, now is a good time to begin the process of changing schools. This is especially true if you have joint legal custody of your child. Despite the reasons for changing your child’s school—which could be anything from moving to a new district, city or state, better quality education, better learning environments, or unresolved bullying—legal custody is required. In addition, the process for parents with joint legal custody isn’t as streamlined as it is for parents with full legal and physical custody. Having joint legal custody means both parents must agree to the change of schools. Joint physical custody may also become a factor, as the child could potentially be eligible to attend schools in different districts, and each parent may believe their district is better for the child’s well-being. Before beginning the process, check your custody agreement to fully understand what rights you have. If you share legal custody, you will first need to file a Request for Order with the court, which will include a statement of substantial and material change of circumstances that affect the child’s best interest. Once filed, the parents will be ordered to mediation to come to an agreement. In most cases, this is all that will be needed, as the parents work out their differences. However, if an agreement cannot be reached, the mediator will send a recommendation to the judge, who will then decide which school the child will attend. The courts will treat a change in a child’s school the same as it would any other custody request: whatever is in the best interest of the child. This includes taking into account how long the child has attended their current school; how well the child is doing in their studies; which parent has custody of the child the most; what days the parent has the child; which school has a better curriculum and learning environment; how long it will take to get to and from school; any special needs the child has; and extracurricular activities the child is involved in. The list could go on. If you have a valid reason for wanting to change your child’s school and need help resolving a joint custody arrangement, please call King Law Firm attorneys At Law Inc. We may help get the process started so that when schools finally open again, your child will have a fresh start at their new school.

Guardianship Child Adult Estate Ad Litem Overview

Guardianship — An Overview

Guardianship may seem easy to understand on the surface, but there is a lot more to it than you might realize. Firstly, guardianship is not the same as adoption. Where adoptions give the guardian permanent parental rights over a child, guardianship is temporary and does not normally remove all parental rights from biological parents. Secondly, guardianship is not limited to children. Before petitioning for guardianship, here is a quick overview of what you should know. The Guardian’s Role The responsibility of a guardian is to provide for the day-to-day needs of a child or an adult. In the case of a child, parents may still be financially responsible if they retain physical custody; otherwise, the guardian is responsible for all financial needs of the child. And, whether a child or adult, guardians must get permission from the court before spending any money or selling assets or property. Types of Guardianship Having Guardian over the Person is when someone is given legal authority to make decisions over a child or adult’s well-being. For a child, this includes personal, medical, educational and financial decisions; for an adult, this includes consent for medical and end-of-life care, financial management and honoring pre-determined wishes. Having Guardian over the Estate is when someone is granted responsibility to safeguard a child or adult’s financial assets. In the case of a child, this type of guardianship lasts until the child turns 18. And becoming a Guardian Ad Litem is when a judge appoints someone to protect a child’s best interest during custody hearings. Reasons for Guardianship Both parents of a child die; A child’s parents are going through a divorce; A child receives a large financial gift; A child lives with someone other than their parents on a long-term basis; A couple is looking to adopt; or An adult is found to be incapable of making their own decisions. The Guardianship Process To obtain guardianship over a child or an adult, one must first file a petition with a court in the county of which the child or adult has lived for at least six months. In the case of a child, a letter of consent must be included with the petition. This is followed by interviews with the petitioner, the child, the parents and any other interested party, as well as a home visitation and criminal background check. A judge will then review the petition and hear from any interested parties, after which the judge will either approve or deny the petition. Depending on the circumstances, this process could take several months. Termination of Guardianship Guardianship ends when: The agreed upon terms have been completed; The guardian chooses to resign; The ward passes away; or a judge determines guardianship is no longer needed or it no longer serves the best interest of the child or the adult. Whatever type of guardianship you’re seeking, it’s always best to contact a family law attorney to help navigate the potentially complicated and confusing process of becoming a guardian.