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Top 3 Holiday Films Featuring Separated Families

three films with separated families

With the holiday season fast approaching, let’s take a look at three holiday films that feature separated families and what we can learn when it comes to dating, building unique relationships, and creating new traditions with your kids.

Dutch (1991)

Introducing a new significant other to your child can be a tricky situation. In Dutch, Natalie (JoBeth Williams) sends her boyfriend (Ed O’Neill), to pick up her son (Ethan Embry) from boarding school for Thanksgiving. This probably wouldn’t be an issue if her son knew her boyfriend was even a part of Natalie’s life.

This is not the way you want to handle such a sensitive situation. It takes time for a child to bond with someone new because they may believe you’re trying to replace their other parent. Allow your child to get comfortable with the idea and make sure the relationship is going to last before introducing them. It’s also a good idea to introduce them in a group setting, where they won’t feel pressured or uncomfortable. Bottom line, throwing someone new into your child’s life unexpectedly is a good way to get shot with a BB gun.

The Santa Clause (1994)

There are many reasons why a couple grows apart. Whatever that reason, it shouldn’t affect the relationship your ex and your child. No matter how much you may not like it, each parent will have different ideas about how to raise their child. This isn’t wrong, it’s just their unique way of bonding.

In The Santa Clause, Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) becomes the new Santa after accidentally causing the old Santa to fall from his roof. This identity change scares his ex-wife (Wendy Crewson), leading her to strip Scott of his custody. However, just because you may feel aspects of the relationship are eccentric, it doesn’t mean the parent is negatively harming the child. Keep communication open and allow the relationship between your ex and your child to grow into what it’s meant to be. After all, forcing your child from a parent they love may just be what sends them running off to the North Pole.

Four Christmases (2008)

Figuring out custody during the holidays can be a difficult process, especially when each parent has traditions they want to preserve. The best thing to do is maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse so you can create a holiday schedule that works best for everyone.

In Four Christmases, the dilemma becomes, do Brad and Kate (Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon) go on a tropical vacation or visit all four of their separated parents over Christmas? No one wants their child to be miserable during the holidays, so do what you can to accommodate your wishes with that of the child. Whatever the compromise, be creative and always make sure you’re putting the child’s needs first. Otherwise, when the kids are all grown up, they may rather spend the holidays on a tropical island.

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Child Custody Jurisdiction—5 Things You Need to Know

John and Mary got a divorce and filed a custody arrangement. Now, Mary wants to move to a new state and take her child with her. She files a petition for custody modification in her new state. Unfortunately, the court denies her request because the state does not have jurisdiction. Child custody isn’t just about filing paperwork, explaining your case to the judge, and receiving a judgement. You must also have jurisdiction. What does that mean? Here are five important details you should know when dealing with child custody jurisdiction. 1. Jurisdiction—A Definition Jurisdiction grants a court the right to exercise their authority and apply the law. In other words, it’s the right of the court to hear and decide your case. 2. The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) For the court to hear and consider child custody or visitation rights, a state must first have jurisdiction over the child. So, what state has jurisdiction? To provide blanket enforcement rules across the nation, the National Conference of Commissioners on Uniform State Laws drafted the UCCJEA. It clarifies that the child’s home state, or the state in which the child has lived for six continuous months, holds jurisdiction over the child. The act also includes uniform procedures for the registration and enforcement of custody orders across state lines. The UCCJEA was drafted in part to keep parents from shopping for a more favorable court. Massachusetts is the only state (including the territories of D.C., Guam, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands) that has not adopted the UCCJEA. 3. Continuing Jurisdiction Once custody has been heard and decided in court, that state maintains continuing and exclusive jurisdiction over the child up and until significant connection to the state changes or dissolves, or neither parent lives in that state any longer. 4. UCCJEA Exceptions Exceptions to the UCCJEA include: When a child hasn’t lived in a state for six consecutive months. Jurisdiction then falls to the state where the child has lived the longest and to which the child has significant connections (i.e. family and friends). A court outside of the child’s home state files a temporary emergency order due to child abuse or domestic violence. Adoption, juvenile delinquency, emancipation, or emergency medical care. When a parent or guardian has sole legal and physical custody. If foreign custody orders have not been adopted and recognized by the U.S. 5. Kidnapping and Child Abduction Moving to another state without having sole legal and physical custody, or having a custody arrangement to do so, could be deemed by state law as kidnapping. However, if the parent files for an emergency order in another state, the laws behind the definition of kidnapping become grayer. In the same vein, moving to another country without an official custody order could constitute international child abduction. To avoid these issues, consult an attorney who understands the UCCJEA before removing a child from their home state.

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3 Keys to Making Holiday Custody Work for You

Plenty can happen to make the holiday season stressful. Simply knowing they’re just around the corner is bad enough; then there’s dealing with shopping, meal preparations and family obligations. The last thing you want is to fight with your former spouse about how much time each of you will get to spend with your son or daughter. Every good parent wants to spend every holiday and special occasion with their children. Depending on a family’s custody arrangements and personal circumstances, though, doing so may not be possible. In almost all cases, compromise is essential. To give you the best chance at a stress-free holiday season, we’ve compiled three key components for dealing with custody during the holidays. Make a Schedule and Stick to it Whether it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year’s, having a set schedule is the foundation for a strong, healthy custody arrangement. Holidays should always be split equally between each parent. The first step may be to divide holidays based on the current custody arrangements. Once you know which holidays fall during a specific parent’s schedule, it becomes easier to decide how to divide the holidays accordingly. If both parents wish to spend certain holidays with the child, consider sharing the holiday, wherein one parent has the child in the morning and the other in the evening. You may also consider alternating years, which can best help relieve a child’s stress level. Whatever’s agreed upon, a clear schedule mitigates confusion, anger and fighting among parents and provides security and a more positive experience for the child. Don’t fight the change; Embrace it. No matter what schedule you agree upon, sharing custody will never be easy if you continue to try and recreate the past. To fully appreciate the future, you must move forward, not backward. First and foremost, acknowledge that things will be different in years to come and embrace these changes by remaining flexible when it comes to creating new traditions with your child. Communicate The ultimate key to maintaining a strong relationship with your former spouse and children during the holidays is, and always will be, communication. Things change over time. Emergencies happen, work issues come up, children’s moods change. No matter the case, communicating with your spouse and child when things do change will reduce the amount of stress and anger that may be generated by sudden, unexpected deviations from the agreed upon schedules. What if you aren’t on speaking terms with your former spouse? There are apps that can be used to share schedules, send photos, and setup a social network for family and friends. This also helps guarantee all changes are in writing so that no one can make excuses for not following through with their commitments. The holidays are meant to be fun. If you follow these key steps, take care of your own physical and mental health, and intentionally spend time with other friends and family, you should have no trouble giving thanks for your many blessings this holiday season.

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Changing Your Child’s School When Joint Custody Is Involved

Have you been thinking of changing your child’s school? With all schools closed for the time being due to the impact of COVID-19, and some states, including California, stating they may remain closed until the near year begins in September, now is a good time to begin the process of changing schools. This is especially true if you have joint legal custody of your child. Despite the reasons for changing your child’s school—which could be anything from moving to a new district, city or state, better quality education, better learning environments, or unresolved bullying—legal custody is required. In addition, the process for parents with joint legal custody isn’t as streamlined as it is for parents with full legal and physical custody. Having joint legal custody means both parents must agree to the change of schools. Joint physical custody may also become a factor, as the child could potentially be eligible to attend schools in different districts, and each parent may believe their district is better for the child’s well-being. Before beginning the process, check your custody agreement to fully understand what rights you have. If you share legal custody, you will first need to file a Request for Order with the court, which will include a statement of substantial and material change of circumstances that affect the child’s best interest. Once filed, the parents will be ordered to mediation to come to an agreement. In most cases, this is all that will be needed, as the parents work out their differences. However, if an agreement cannot be reached, the mediator will send a recommendation to the judge, who will then decide which school the child will attend. The courts will treat a change in a child’s school the same as it would any other custody request: whatever is in the best interest of the child. This includes taking into account how long the child has attended their current school; how well the child is doing in their studies; which parent has custody of the child the most; what days the parent has the child; which school has a better curriculum and learning environment; how long it will take to get to and from school; any special needs the child has; and extracurricular activities the child is involved in. The list could go on. If you have a valid reason for wanting to change your child’s school and need help resolving a joint custody arrangement, please call King Law Firm attorneys At Law Inc. We may help get the process started so that when schools finally open again, your child will have a fresh start at their new school.