Why Child Custody Mediation Is A Good Thing

We all love to believe that when we meet that perfect someone, we’ll walk with them into the sunset of life. The truth is, people and relationships often change, tearing down a marriage just as fast as building it up. Divorce is hard no matter the circumstances, but if kids are involved, couples must consider their feelings and sensibilities over their own, making sure they act in their child’s best interest during and after the divorce.

To help initiate custody arrangements during a divorce, especially a contentious one, many states, including California, require couples who have custody or visitation orders that are being contested (and in which civil communication has broken down) to attend a child custody mediation prior to going to court. Though this may be a bit irritating for some, the process itself can be extremely beneficial in a variety of ways.

Mediation allows parents to air their grievances and resolve their differences.

Divorce can be a very personal matter, and when arguments aren’t controlled, things can spiral very quickly. Mediators are licensed professionals with specialized training in family matters, including, but not limited to, child development and conflict resolution. Mediators must also have at least two years of experience working in the mental health field. These qualifications allow the mediator to be impartial as they listen to the concerns of each parent, mitigate any conflict that may arise, and support each parent’s needs while helping the couple make compromises that they may not be able to make without the help of an outside observer.

Mediation guarantees the child comes first.

The mediator acts as surrogate for the child to make sure the arguments for custody and visitation remain focused on the health, safety and welfare needs of the child as opposed to that of the parents.

Mediation is private.

Airing one’s grievances and opinions in a private setting allows for a more relaxed environment and more civilized conversation. In some states and counties, everything that’s said within a mediation remains completely confidential, though in counties such as Riverside and San Diego, mediators are allowed to offer the judge a recommendation based on what’s said during mediation. In the case of a victim of abuse, mediation can be done separately so that the victim does not have to confront their abuser during these proceedings.

Mediation sets the tone for the relationship after the divorce.

Mediation helps a couple discuss their differences openly, calmly and without blame, which allows the parents to learn how to compromise and set a good, honest, healthy example for the child moving forward.

Because child custody mediation does not typically allow anyone but the parents into the room, it’s always best to consult a lawyer prior to mediation to make sure you understand what will happen and be prepared with a custody plan and reasons for why you feel it’s in the best interest of the child.

Tags: Child, Child Custody, Child Custody Mediation, Children, Custody, Divorce, divorce proceedings, Family, Family Law, Mediation, Mediator, Mediators, private
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