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When someone is mentally or physically incapacitated, they may not be able to perform tasks necessary to live. When this happens, family members or friends may have the right to become a guardian or a conservator and take legal responsibility for performing personal and financial tasks for them. Which one, guardianship or conservatorship, is right for your situation? That mostly depends on which state you live in. Because King Law Firm Attorneys at Law, Inc. practices in both California and Arizona, we’ve compiled some key similarities and differences these states have when it comes to guardianship or conservatorship. Guardianship Becoming a guardian over another person Is taking legal responsibility over day-to-day medical, educational, and personal decisions for that person because they have become physically or mentally incapacitated. However, in California, guardianships refer to only those persons who represent the affairs of a child. When a child’s parents pass away or are no longer able to safely care for the child, a family member can assume permanent or temporary guardianship. If petitioning for guardianship becomes combative, there are a couple of other options to guarantee a child’s safety: 1) a clear and concise private agreement can be entered into between the guardian and the parents; or 2) the guardian can present a Caregiver’s Authorization Affidavit, which gives the guardian legal right to make educational and medical decisions. Both alternate options can be revoked by the parents at any time. In Arizona, guardianships are appointed for anyone, regardless of age. Guardianships can be general (covering all medical, educational, and personal decisions) or limited to a specific purpose, such as making emergency medical decisions or finding specific living arrangements. Guardian’s may also suspend a ward’s driver’s license or ability to vote. Conservatorship In general, conservators provide care and protection for the ward, such as providing meals, purchasing clothes, maintaining the home and hygiene, arranging for medical care, and managing the estate. Conservatorships are not normally setup if the person in question drafted a durable power of attorney prior to becoming incapacitated. In California, a conservatorship acts the same as a guardianship but for adults. This includes both personal and financial responsibilities. These conservatorships can be limited (usually meant for the developmentally disabled) or general (which covers all other types of mental or physical issues, such as dementia, physical injury, or those susceptible to undue influence). In Arizona, though, a conservatorship strictly focuses on financial responsibilities, such as a person’s everyday bills or the estate, for a child or adult. There are three types of conservatorships in Arizona: General (covers all financial responsibilities), limited (covers only a select type of financial responsibility), or single transactional (covers one specific task, such as investing funds or paying taxes). If you aren’t sure if you should take the next step, King Law Firm Attorneys at Law, Inc. can help you decide between guardianship or conservatorship for you and your loved one.

Plenty can happen to make the holiday season stressful. Simply knowing they’re just around the corner is bad enough; then there’s dealing with shopping, meal preparations and family obligations. The last thing you want is to fight with your former spouse about how much time each of you will get to spend with your son or daughter. Every good parent wants to spend every holiday and special occasion with their children. Depending on a family’s custody arrangements and personal circumstances, though, doing so may not be possible. In almost all cases, compromise is essential. To give you the best chance at a stress-free holiday season, we’ve compiled three key components for dealing with custody during the holidays. Make a Schedule and Stick to it Whether it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year’s, having a set schedule is the foundation for a strong, healthy custody arrangement. Holidays should always be split equally between each parent. The first step may be to divide holidays based on the current custody arrangements. Once you know which holidays fall during a specific parent’s schedule, it becomes easier to decide how to divide the holidays accordingly. If both parents wish to spend certain holidays with the child, consider sharing the holiday, wherein one parent has the child in the morning and the other in the evening. You may also consider alternating years, which can best help relieve a child’s stress level. Whatever’s agreed upon, a clear schedule mitigates confusion, anger and fighting among parents and provides security and a more positive experience for the child. Don’t fight the change; Embrace it. No matter what schedule you agree upon, sharing custody will never be easy if you continue to try and recreate the past. To fully appreciate the future, you must move forward, not backward. First and foremost, acknowledge that things will be different in years to come and embrace these changes by remaining flexible when it comes to creating new traditions with your child. Communicate The ultimate key to maintaining a strong relationship with your former spouse and children during the holidays is, and always will be, communication. Things change over time. Emergencies happen, work issues come up, children’s moods change. No matter the case, communicating with your spouse and child when things do change will reduce the amount of stress and anger that may be generated by sudden, unexpected deviations from the agreed upon schedules. What if you aren’t on speaking terms with your former spouse? There are apps that can be used to share schedules, send photos, and setup a social network for family and friends. This also helps guarantee all changes are in writing so that no one can make excuses for not following through with their commitments. The holidays are meant to be fun. If you follow these key steps, take care of your own physical and mental health, and intentionally spend time with other friends and family, you should have no trouble giving thanks for your many blessings this holiday season.

The case of Gabby Petito’s disappearance has dominated many news stories over the past couple of weeks. On the surface, it feels very much like a cut-and-dry case. After a couple of months into a planned four-month road trip with her fiancée, Brian Laundrie, Laundrie returned home without her. As a person of interest in her disappearance, Laundrie is currently hiding from authorities. Meanwhile, Gabby’s body was recovered and an autopsy proves she was murdered. The question this ultimately raises is, “How could something like this happen to such a happy, loving couple?” No matter how much we may want to believe it was a crime of passion, growing evidence suggests the couple was deeply ingrained in serious levels of domestic violence and abuse. Domestic Violence Statistics According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV): 10 million people (approximately 20 people per minute) are abused in the U.S. every year. The abused are mostly between the ages of 18-24, and only 34% of those injured seek medical treatment. 15% of all violent crime begins with domestic violence Gabby Petito and Domestic Violence The last statistic above is important regarding Gabby Petito. Though we can’t speculate on Gabby’s state of mind, recently released body cam footage from a traffic stop involving Laundrie and Petito clearly shows Gabby is in distress with signs of a physical altercation. Unfortunately, Gabby informs the officers that her hysterics are due in part to anxiety and underlying mental condition. It’s clear the officers on scene did everything they could to find cause to legally separate the two out of fear of domestic violence. However, because Gabby was unwilling (or unable) to confess to domestic violence, officers were limited to placing a temporary protective order in place and requesting they stay separate for the night. They did everything right, but it wasn’t enough to stop the inevitable. Emotional and Psychological Abuse Domestic violence doesn’t always equate to physical altercations. Many victims discuss how physical abuse started with emotional and psychological manipulation. This may include: Embarrassment or humiliation in front of family and friends. Keeping someone from seeing their friends and family. Intimidation and threats to earn compliance. Degradation, insults, or criticism to make someone feel unworthy. Prevention of participating in activates. Always monitor the whereabouts and phone conversations. Withhold affection as a form of punishment. Guilt In the Relationship Because of the manipulative nature that comes with domestic violence, many people acknowledge when they are being abused, but reconcile the abuse with the false belief that what’s happening is their fault; that when they are able to change, the situation will change. No one should stay in an abusive relationship or accept domestic violence in any form. This is not love; it is power and control. When you see it, or you experience it, please speak up. Tell a friend, a family member, a neighbor, or call one of the many hotlines setup to help escape a harmful and debilitating situation. https://www.thehotline.org/ https://vawnet.org https://www.nrcdv.org https://www.acf.hhs.gov/fysb/programs/family-violence-prevention-services/programs/ndvh

Ever since I started King Law Firm Attorney’s at Law, Inc., I’ve been committed to your legal success. Part of this commitment is the effective communication of information, which I’ve provided in various forms on this site. We offer plenty of links to information you may need to better understand your particular situation, and videos on our YouTube and TikTok pages offer everyone quick tips on what makes the law tick. In an effort to expand on this commitment, I’m proud to announce my new podcast, The Lawyer Kings. What is The Lawyer Kings Podcast? I started The Lawyer Kings Podcast with my dad, Patrick. Together, we will share our many years of knowledge in all facets of the law. We’ll answer any questions you may have about how the law works and we’ll talk with expert guests on everything from civil litigation and criminal justice to estate planning and family law. Most importantly, my dad and I will attempt to bridge the gap between old-school law practices, like paper everything, and twenty-first century digital-style practices. Who is Rachel King? Being raised in a family of attorneys, I had a clear idea of where I wanted to be in my career. I earned my Juris Doctor degree from Thomas Jefferson School of Law and served in the Army as a paralegal and Communication Specialist. Right now, my expertise is in estate planning, family law, bankruptcy, and real estate law. But, whatever your needs, I strive to provide professional representation that meets the diverse legal needs of each individual. As for licenses and accomplishments, I am an active member in good standing with the State Bar of California, the Riverside County Bar Association, Southwest Bar Association, Richard T. Fields Bar Association, and the American Bar Association. I’ve also developed the Attorney Mentor Program within the Southwest Valley Youth Court and was named one of the best probate attorneys in Murrieta, California in 2021 by Expertise.com. Who is Patrick King? My dad has been practicing law since 1982. He got his Juris Doctor from Southwestern University School of Law, after which he argued hundreds of appeals, including over 250 Supreme Court Appellate cases. Much like myself, my dad provides expert representation in wills, trusts, durable powers of attorney, divorce, guardianship, and child support. He also provides assistance with funeral directives, articles of incorporation, by-laws, and accident injuries. His licenses include the Nevada State Bar Association, Washoe County Bar Association, Douglas County Bar Association, American Bar Association, and Washoe, Carson and Douglas Bar Associations. You can visit his firm’s site at kingandrussolaw.com. Questions about the Law? The law is much more demanding than it’s portrayed on television. If you have a question about a specific case you may be dealing with or of the law in general, please fill out the form found on the official podcast site, TheLawyerKings.com. You can also listen to our weekly podcast on any of your favorite podcast stations.

As a citizen of the United States, we all feel as if we know how laws should be enforced simply because “that’s how it’s done in my state.” What we all fail to understand (or don’t want to understand) is that each state has the constitutional right to create laws for the benefit of their residents, so long as they do not infringe on federal law. This means that there are a multitude of differences in state law when it comes to families, estates and business. Divorce When filing for a divorce in California, you are guaranteed at least six months before the divorce is finalized, as well as an equal distribution of property. However, many states, such as Oregon, do not have a required length of time to finalize a divorce, and some rely on equitable distribution of assets, which means all assets are divided fairly, if not equally. Child Support California is one of thirty-five states that utilizes the Income Shares Model, basing child support on the combination of both parents as if they were still living together. Twelve states, on the other hand, implement a version of the Percentage of Income Model, which is based solely on the noncustodial parent’s income, while three others use a more complicated model known as the Melson Formula, which takes the parents needs into consideration as well as the child’s. Estate Law Many estate planning laws differ between states. These include: Holographic Wills California accepts holographic wills while others do not, or in the case of Florida, only do so if they meet all the requirements of a standard will. Simple Templates If you have a small or simple estate in California, you can fill out a basic template that doesn’t get too technical. In other states, all statutory requirements must be met regardless of the size of the estate. Probate Costs At upwards of $500, California tends to be one of the more expensive states to open probate. In other states, the cost can be less than $250 and attorney’s fees are based on a sliding scale in relation to the size of the estate. Business Whether it be protections for minority shareholders or differing Intrastate laws, you must understand the differences in state laws to run a successful business. For example, in order to merge with or acquire another company in California, a majority share of each class of stock is required, whereas in other states, such as Delaware, all classes can vote together, making it more preferable for investors. Also be prepared to pay the California franchise tax fee if you plan to conduct business in California as an LLC, regardless of where your business is licensed. As you can see, consistency among laws across states is nearly non-existent, which is why you always want to have a great lawyer by your side to help navigate these laws so you’re never caught unaware at the most inopportune time.

After a divorce, parents may feel they and their child need a change of scenery. This is understandable; however, always make sure to inform the non-custodial parent if that change of scenery means taking a child across state lines. Temporary Vacations If this change is temporary, say to visit relatives or go on a vacation, non-custodial parents generally won’t mind, so long as it doesn’t interfere with any current custody orders or travel restrictions. Regardless, informing the non-custodial parent shows respect and allows you to obtain written consent should any future disputes arise. Permanent Moves Moving a child to a new state permanently is a different matter. Even if you have sole physical custody, there’s a possibility you could be charged with child kidnapping, especially if the non-custodial parent did not know about the move. In California, a parent must give the non-custodial parent 45 days’ notice prior to a move. Should the non-custodial parent dispute the move, both parents will make their case in front of a judge for the best interest of the child. Factors that may be considered include: The reason for the move; Distance from the non-custodial parent; and Impact on the well-being of the child. Visitation In the Wake of COVID-19 If moving a child out-of-state after a divorce wasn’t complicated enough, when it comes to visitation and custody arrangements, there’s still considerations we must adhere to when dealing with the ramifications of COVID-19. Luckily for most parents, courts are no longer using COVID 19 as an excuse to keep non-custodial parents from exercising their visitation rights. Unfortunately, that still may not stop some custodial parents from using the following excuses to attempt to deny a non-custodial parent visitation: One parent works in healthcare, are constantly exposed to large groups of people, or have tested positive for the virus; There are stay-at-home orders or regional lockdowns in place; One parent disagrees with current mandates, such as wearing masks, washing hands or social distancing. One parent seeks to move to, or currently lives in, a hot spot; The parents live too far away from one another; A child must travel on a plane, or there are travel bans or quarantines in place. It may seem respectful to listen to, and acknowledge, some of these concerns, however if visitation is being denied for any of the above reasons, it’s important to seek legal advice and/or seek a court intervention immediately. COVID-19 has made living hard on everyone, but no more so than on parents who want to share in their child’s lives. Just remember, whatever the situation or concerns may be, it is always best practice to talk to a lawyer about your specific case before making any travel arrangements or permanent moves.

There is always an abundance of emotion in a time of crisis. Right now, as we attempt to navigate through the realities of the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us are faced with an extra amount of personal, financial and professional stress, anxiety, fear and uncertainty. Marriage is hard enough during regular times; it’s even more heightened in a time of crisis, especially one where outlets, such as sporting events, bars and churches, have been stripped away from us. With stay-at-home orders and shuttered business, spouses (and their children) are being forced to spend much more time together. This normally wouldn’t be considered a bad thing, but in this environment, coupled with financial strains, many people may believe the only way out is through divorce. However, major life changes should never be made in heightened emotional situations. Though this type of decision may feel right at the time, it will almost always lead to regret, and possibly depression, once the crisis has subsided. Before making the rash decision to file for divorce in a time of crisis, consider the positive aspects of marriage and what you can do to help it successfully survive the pandemic. Communicate Openly and Often What you don’t say can be as harmful as what you do say. Having a strong foundation of communication, whether with your spouse, a friend or family, will help you start thinking rationally about how the current situation is affecting you and your relationship. It may be hard, but it’s important that you find a way to express yourself. More importantly, always take your spouse’s fears, dreams and frustrations into consideration. You aren’t the only one feeling the stress of the situation. Doing so can help each of you find a new way to release the negative energy that may be festering beneath the surface. Start or Resume a Hobby Whether it be gardening, household repairs or journaling, giving yourself something to do alone can help relieve the stress that’s building up individually and as a couple. Find Fun Things To Do Together Laugh, dance, watch Netflix, go for a walk — anything that removes you from the stress of the situation. Share in Parenting Duties Take turns teaching and spending time with your children. This will allow your spouse some much needed alone time. The Exception to the Rule – Abuse No one should remain in a marriage or a relationship with an abusive spouse. Mentally or physically, abuse is amplified in a crisis situation. If you are in an abusive relationship, please contact the authorities or talk to a lawyer to learn about your rights, how to safely escape your situation, and get legal protection. The thing to remember is, filing for divorce to save your marriage is never the answer, yet no two situations are the same. If you have questions, please feel free to consult King Law Firm Attorneys at Law via phone, online or in person. For more on this topic, check out our quick video.

Have you been thinking of changing your child’s school? With all schools closed for the time being due to the impact of COVID-19, and some states, including California, stating they may remain closed until the near year begins in September, now is a good time to begin the process of changing schools. This is especially true if you have joint legal custody of your child. Despite the reasons for changing your child’s school—which could be anything from moving to a new district, city or state, better quality education, better learning environments, or unresolved bullying—legal custody is required. In addition, the process for parents with joint legal custody isn’t as streamlined as it is for parents with full legal and physical custody. Having joint legal custody means both parents must agree to the change of schools. Joint physical custody may also become a factor, as the child could potentially be eligible to attend schools in different districts, and each parent may believe their district is better for the child’s well-being. Before beginning the process, check your custody agreement to fully understand what rights you have. If you share legal custody, you will first need to file a Request for Order with the court, which will include a statement of substantial and material change of circumstances that affect the child’s best interest. Once filed, the parents will be ordered to mediation to come to an agreement. In most cases, this is all that will be needed, as the parents work out their differences. However, if an agreement cannot be reached, the mediator will send a recommendation to the judge, who will then decide which school the child will attend. The courts will treat a change in a child’s school the same as it would any other custody request: whatever is in the best interest of the child. This includes taking into account how long the child has attended their current school; how well the child is doing in their studies; which parent has custody of the child the most; what days the parent has the child; which school has a better curriculum and learning environment; how long it will take to get to and from school; any special needs the child has; and extracurricular activities the child is involved in. The list could go on. If you have a valid reason for wanting to change your child’s school and need help resolving a joint custody arrangement, please call King Law Firm attorneys At Law Inc. We may help get the process started so that when schools finally open again, your child will have a fresh start at their new school.

Guardianship may seem easy to understand on the surface, but there is a lot more to it than you might realize. Firstly, guardianship is not the same as adoption. Where adoptions give the guardian permanent parental rights over a child, guardianship is temporary and does not normally remove all parental rights from biological parents. Secondly, guardianship is not limited to children. Before petitioning for guardianship, here is a quick overview of what you should know. The Guardian’s Role The responsibility of a guardian is to provide for the day-to-day needs of a child or an adult. In the case of a child, parents may still be financially responsible if they retain physical custody; otherwise, the guardian is responsible for all financial needs of the child. And, whether a child or adult, guardians must get permission from the court before spending any money or selling assets or property. Types of Guardianship Having Guardian over the Person is when someone is given legal authority to make decisions over a child or adult’s well-being. For a child, this includes personal, medical, educational and financial decisions; for an adult, this includes consent for medical and end-of-life care, financial management and honoring pre-determined wishes. Having Guardian over the Estate is when someone is granted responsibility to safeguard a child or adult’s financial assets. In the case of a child, this type of guardianship lasts until the child turns 18. And becoming a Guardian Ad Litem is when a judge appoints someone to protect a child’s best interest during custody hearings. Reasons for Guardianship Both parents of a child die; A child’s parents are going through a divorce; A child receives a large financial gift; A child lives with someone other than their parents on a long-term basis; A couple is looking to adopt; or An adult is found to be incapable of making their own decisions. The Guardianship Process To obtain guardianship over a child or an adult, one must first file a petition with a court in the county of which the child or adult has lived for at least six months. In the case of a child, a letter of consent must be included with the petition. This is followed by interviews with the petitioner, the child, the parents and any other interested party, as well as a home visitation and criminal background check. A judge will then review the petition and hear from any interested parties, after which the judge will either approve or deny the petition. Depending on the circumstances, this process could take several months. Termination of Guardianship Guardianship ends when: The agreed upon terms have been completed; The guardian chooses to resign; The ward passes away; or a judge determines guardianship is no longer needed or it no longer serves the best interest of the child or the adult. Whatever type of guardianship you’re seeking, it’s always best to contact a family law attorney to help navigate the potentially complicated and confusing process of becoming a guardian.

Recently, there’s been a rise in the number of young unmarried couples living together and older couples merely “shacking up” instead of getting married. What these couples may not understand is that simply being in a long-term, committed relationship does not give them the rights and benefits of a married couple. Misconception – California is a common law state Though there are several states that do recognize common law marriage (which states as long as you live together in a committed relationship for a set number of years, you will receive the same rights as a married couple), California is not one of them. Living together, or cohabitating, does not guarantee the same rights to property and inheritance. In the eyes of the law, these couples are nothing more than “legal strangers.” In other words, the rules governing community property and intestacy do not apply to unmarried couples. This can make some things easier, but others, such as the division or inheritance of real estate, can become quite sticky. Having a cohabitation agreement covering financial obligations during and after cohabitation, a will, and/or a living trust is a must to guarantee the correct distribution of property. Misconception – Custody and Paternity automatically belong to both biological parents Despite what you may believe, unwed fathers have very little, if any, rights when it comes to custody. Regardless of whether someone is the biological father or is in a long-term, committed relationship with the mother, the mother is automatically granted one hundred percent physical custody of a child born out of wedlock. In California, though, courts do take into consideration the health, safety and welfare of the child. If the father is the primary caregiver or has signed a Declaration of Paternity at the time of birth, he may have more rights when it comes to custody and visitation. Misconception – Cohabitants have rights in health care decisions Unlike married couples, cohabitants do not have any rights when it comes to making medical decisions on behalf of their partner. Spouses, adult children and biological parents are treated as top-priority decision-makers, regardless of how long someone has lived with their partner. Therefore, individuals must have a medical or healthcare directive in place. This includes a Health Care Declaration indicating how you are to be treated in emergency situations, as well as a Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare designating who has the right to make medical decisions on the individual’s behalf. Misconception – Cohabitants can dictate funeral arrangements Although cohabitants may have told their partner what they want when they die, it doesn’t mean that person has the right to carry out those wishes. These decisions automatically go to the next of kin, and only a spouse, parent, child, grandparent, sibling or legally authorized representative may order a certified copy of the death certificate. Having a will or other notarized legal affidavit granting these rights to the cohabitant is the only way to keep family members from going against the deceased’s wishes.

A prenup for a pet? Why? Because you love your pet. We know you do. Whether it be a dog, a cat or even a horse, they aren’t just a piece of property you have to walk and feed. They bring joy, comfort and friendship; the deep bond you form with your pet makes them an integral part of your family. Now imagine bringing a pet into a new relationship or deciding to adopt a pet after getting married. Both you and your significant other no doubt love the animal as much as you love one another. In some cases, your pets become your children. But then things take a turn for the worse. Arguments get heightened and you just want out of the relationship. As your lawyers begin to divide your property, your pet becomes a bargaining chip. Your significant other fights tooth and nail to keep the animal, while you refuse to give it up. Like your once brand-new couch, your hope for an amicable divorce is ripped to shreds. In recent years, custody battles over pets, especially with the millennial generation, is on the rise, as they choose to have pets over kids. This is why more and more couples are gravitating toward a prenup prior to the adoption of their new family member, so that they may avoid similar scenarios. A pet prenup can help decide who in the relationship will care and feed for the animal, pay for insurance and medical bills, take them to the veterinarian, and ultimately who would retain the pet in the event of a breakup or divorce. In most states, pets are still treated as property, making the prenup an iron-clad statement of ownership. However, California recently passed Assembly Bill 2274, which differentiates companion animals and pets from all other types of assets and allows the courts to judge the merits of ownership on the health and well-being of the animal, even with a prenup in place. Without a prenup in place, if your name is on the adoption documents, the animal is considered yours. However, if your spouse is the sole caretaker of the animal, the judge could conclude that the animal would be better suited to live with them. Having a prenup in place would help you better fight for the rights of the animal. Pet prenups may also include shared custody arrangements, which outline what custody would look like in the event of a divorce. If you have children, a shared custody arrangement would generally follow the child’s, giving comfort and stability to both the child and the pet. If you don’t have kids, custody arrangements are better when agreed upon prior to taking on the responsibility of pet ownership. Best of all, having a pet prenup can give you piece of mind and a healthier relationship with both your significant other and your pet. And isn’t that what we all really want?

You probably already know this, but divorce is never easy. Despite what you see in films and television, love and marriage aren’t always forever, and very rarely is a divorce a mutual endeavor. One side is inevitably going to be hurt by the other’s decision to leave. This does not mean, however, that a divorce has to be contentious. Anger, resentment and grief are all acceptable emotions when learning your spouse wishes to end your relationship; having the strength to manage these feelings in a courteous and objective manner can go a long way in diplomatically ending your marriage and moving forward with respect and dignity. What is a Diplomatic Divorce? A diplomatic divorce is an amicable divorce in which both parties agree to negotiate in good faith and without malice, coming to reasonable terms for child and spousal support, and division of assets without having to face a judge. This is also known as an uncontested divorce. What You Should Know When Beginning a Diplomatic Divorce Never focus on who may or may not be at fault; this is irrelevant. Placing blame or punishing your spouse will simply lead to additional anger and resentment. Instead, treat your divorce as a business traction — You had signed a contract to build a life together and now one partner wants to leave the company. This will help you focus on the positive as opposed to the negative. Figure out what is most important to you (not everyone around you) and set realistic goals and expectations with your spouse. Try not to squabble over semantics; if your spouse pushes buttons, take time to breathe before answering. Reasonable disagreements will occur; how you handle these disagreements is what will define whether the divorce is amicable or contentious. If you have children, keeping the proceedings civil will help them become more accustomed to their new lifestyle. It also allows for much more bearable custody arrangements. Being diplomatic and respectful does not mean that you and your spouse will ever be friends, nor does it mean you have to like the decision. It simply means you understand your spouse’s decision and love them enough to let them leave peacefully. It also does not mean you won’t feel hurt or need time to grieve. Moving forward amicably allows for a much quicker resolution and reduces the amount of time, stress and money that you must pour into the divorce. Some parties may wish to have a pro se divorce, which means each party handles all paperwork and arguments in a fair and amenable manner; others may need to acquire lawyers to handle all of the communication between the parties. Either way is perfectly acceptable. If you choose pro se, decide if you would like, or are required, to have a mediator to help resolve issues fairly; if you choose to hire attorneys, make sure both of them understand you want to end the marriage quickly, peacefully and amicably.