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Ever since I started King Law Firm Attorney’s at Law, Inc., I’ve been committed to your legal success. Part of this commitment is the effective communication of information, which I’ve provided in various forms on this site. We offer plenty of links to information you may need to better understand your particular situation, and videos on our YouTube and TikTok pages offer everyone quick tips on what makes the law tick. In an effort to expand on this commitment, I’m proud to announce my new podcast, The Lawyer Kings. What is The Lawyer Kings Podcast? I started The Lawyer Kings Podcast with my dad, Patrick. Together, we will share our many years of knowledge in all facets of the law. We’ll answer any questions you may have about how the law works and we’ll talk with expert guests on everything from civil litigation and criminal justice to estate planning and family law. Most importantly, my dad and I will attempt to bridge the gap between old-school law practices, like paper everything, and twenty-first century digital-style practices. Who is Rachel King? Being raised in a family of attorneys, I had a clear idea of where I wanted to be in my career. I earned my Juris Doctor degree from Thomas Jefferson School of Law and served in the Army as a paralegal and Communication Specialist. Right now, my expertise is in estate planning, family law, bankruptcy, and real estate law. But, whatever your needs, I strive to provide professional representation that meets the diverse legal needs of each individual. As for licenses and accomplishments, I am an active member in good standing with the State Bar of California, the Riverside County Bar Association, Southwest Bar Association, Richard T. Fields Bar Association, and the American Bar Association. I’ve also developed the Attorney Mentor Program within the Southwest Valley Youth Court and was named one of the best probate attorneys in Murrieta, California in 2021 by Expertise.com. Who is Patrick King? My dad has been practicing law since 1982. He got his Juris Doctor from Southwestern University School of Law, after which he argued hundreds of appeals, including over 250 Supreme Court Appellate cases. Much like myself, my dad provides expert representation in wills, trusts, durable powers of attorney, divorce, guardianship, and child support. He also provides assistance with funeral directives, articles of incorporation, by-laws, and accident injuries. His licenses include the Nevada State Bar Association, Washoe County Bar Association, Douglas County Bar Association, American Bar Association, and Washoe, Carson and Douglas Bar Associations. You can visit his firm’s site at kingandrussolaw.com. Questions about the Law? The law is much more demanding than it’s portrayed on television. If you have a question about a specific case you may be dealing with or of the law in general, please fill out the form found on the official podcast site, TheLawyerKings.com. You can also listen to our weekly podcast on any of your favorite podcast stations.

People understand that getting married isn’t a guarantee love will last forever. In fact, over the last twenty years, divorce has become much more prevalent among what is affectionately known as the boomer generation, even as the overall divorce rate decreases. One might believe this phenomenon, known as gray divorce, is due to COVID lockdowns and stress over lost jobs and wages. However, since 1990, the rise in divorces have doubled for couples over the age of 50 and tripled for those over the age of 65. What is Gray Divorce and Why does It Occur? Gray divorce refers to the separation or divorce of couples over 50 who have been in long-term relationships. This type of divorce normally occurs when couples begin to grow apart, seek intimacy elsewhere, or experience financial struggles, empty nest syndrome, higher life expectancies, and physical or mental addictions. What Older Couples Should Consider When Divorcing 1. Remarriage Although divorce rates are growing among couples in their first marriages, it’s two and a half times higher for those who have married more than once. Consider entering into a pre- or post-nuptial agreement if getting married a second, third or even fourth time. 2. Families and Children It may not seem possible, but gray divorces still take a toll on a couple’s adult children. When kids are younger, divorce may hit harder in the moment, but parents are there for them every step of the way. Adults don’t have that luxury. Attempts to reconcile what they thought was a happy marriage with what they now understand to be true could intermingle with their relationships with their own spouses and children. 3. Financial Concerns and Retirement Statistics show that after a divorce, wealth and standard of living drop around 50% for women and 21% for men, while the poverty level for woman and men is around 27% and 11%, respectively, when divorcing after the age of 63. The division of assets, taxes, Medicare, social security benefits, alimony, life insurance, investments and retirement benefits are high on the list of concerns during a gray divorce. 4. Depression It’s important to refrain from becoming sedentary after a divorce. Whether it’s a mutually agreed upon arrangement or an unexpected turn of events, remain active. It’s also a good idea to stay social and engaged with friends and family to enhance mental health. 5. Competency Concerns With age comes medical conditions that may affect a person’s cognitive abilities. If an attorney or judge finds that a person is unable to competently make reasonable decisions, a guardian ad litem or other third party, such as adult children or a financial Durable Power of Attorney, should be appointed to represent that person’s best interests. Long-term care issues may also need to be addressed should someone be unable to care for themselves after a divorce. No two marriages, and thus, no two divorces, are the same, so stay connected with supportive family and friends and be mindful of those who will be affected when going through a gray divorce.

Screenshot Earlier this month, Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates and his wife of twenty-seven years, Melinda French Gates, officially filed for divorce. It’s been reported that Melinda had been speaking to divorce attorneys since 2019, and now rumors are flying as to why it happened and how the $129 billion in assets will be divided. Let’s break down what we know. Who Are Bill and Melinda Gates? Bill Gates met Melinda French in 1987 after she became a project manager at Microsoft. They started dating soon after and got married in 1994 at a lavish ceremony on the Hawaiian Island of Lanai. The couple currently live in Washington State and have three children. A year after their marriage, Gates formed the holding and Investment company, Cascade Investment. In 2000, the couple started focusing on philanthropic causes with the formation of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, which helped fund several initiatives in education, health, and other worthwhile, global causes. Melinda then started her own personal investment firm, Pivotal Ventures, in 2015 to focus on and support women and families. What Are the Details Behind the Divorce? It’s not exactly certain why the two are separating. Divorce documents only claim the “marriage is irretrievably broken” and the couple’s public statements simply say, “We no longer believe we can grow together as a couple in the next phase of our lives.” However, the couple’s decision comes on the heels of sexual misconduct allegations from Bill’s money manager and an affair with an employee. There’s also a level of distrust between them after the public revelation of Bill’s relationship with the convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. Despite being the richest man in the world at the time of their wedding, Bill and Melinda never signed a pre-nuptial agreement. They have asked the court, though, to follow a supposed separation contract to help divide their assets. The divorce looks to be amicable, as both seem to have been working on how to divide the assets for a few years now, and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation released a statement that read, “ will continue to work together to shape and approve foundation strategies, advocate for the foundation’s issues, and set the organization’s overall direction.” Does Bill’s Infidelity Accusations matter? Because Washington is a no-fault state, the reason for the dissolution of marriage will not play a part in the divorce proceedings. Neither can claim full ownership of any of their houses, and all assets will be split evenly, based on the separation contract. This may also be why they waited until their youngest child turned 18, as now they won’t have to worry about the issue of child custody or support. How Can You Avoid These Same Issues? Regardless of your net worth, divorce isn’t a decision anyone wants to make. However, if a relationship does become unsustainable, it’s always best to speak to a divorce attorney about your rights before filing in order to protect yourself and your assets.

A few years ago, Gwyneth Paltrow made “Conscious Uncoupling” famous with her divorce to then-husband Chris Martin. But most people were still confused. Was it a divorce? A separation? Something in between? Regardless of its definition, the world collectively became familiar with how conscious uncoupling might just change the way many perceive divorce. Another high-profile marriage now looks as if it’s on its last legs. Though divorce proceedings have yet to begin, it’s been widely reported that the seven-year marriage between Kim Kardashian and Kanye West is officially over. If that’s true, the divorce will not be easy, especially with all of the money and assets that must be divided between these two high-profile celebrities. What could make it easier on them and their four children would be to strongly consider conscious uncoupling. What is Conscious Uncoupling? The idea of conscious uncoupling has been around since 2009, after Katherine Woodward Thomas taught the divorce alternative to students worldwide. The idea focuses on making sure a separation from a partner is kept amicable and respectful; always remembering the needs of the children and applying self-reflection to internalize how the mistakes were simply a roadmap in identifying negative roadblocks and building a better future for you and your spouse. Kim and Kanye’s Divorce According to multiple entertainment sources, divorce was ultimately decided in December to be the correct path after the couple spent some time in couple’s therapy. Though nothing official has been initiated, Kim has discussed the matter with Laura Wasser, who also oversaw Kim’s last divorce. Insiders have said Kim has “grown up a lot this past year” and is looking to focus on passing the bar and working for her prison reform campaign. In comparison, Kanye’s mental health seems to be deteriorating as evidenced by his failed Presidential run and the spontaneous and shocking public admission that the couple was in talks to abort their first child. Both Kim and Kanye are reported to be “fed-up” with the other and Kim hasn’t been seen with her wedding ring since November. Conscious Uncoupling is the Best Path Forward If Kanye and Kim are serious and divorce is imminent, it would be in their best interest to follow the path of conscious uncoupling. If the two agree to make the divorce amicable, they would be sparing the children a lot of grief, both in their living situation and via the press. One of the major assets that could be in dispute is the couple’s Calabasas home. It is the only home the couple’s children have known, so to remove them from that environment now not be in their best interest. And there’s nothing more inviting to the press than a bad break-up. By pursuing conscious uncoupling, it would prove to everyone itching for succulent gossip that despite their tumultuous relationship the couple respect one another, wish each other great health, and will remain friends into the foreseeable future. Don’t forget to celebrate National Conscious Uncoupling Day on January 21!

As a citizen of the United States, we all feel as if we know how laws should be enforced simply because “that’s how it’s done in my state.” What we all fail to understand (or don’t want to understand) is that each state has the constitutional right to create laws for the benefit of their residents, so long as they do not infringe on federal law. This means that there are a multitude of differences in state law when it comes to families, estates and business. Divorce When filing for a divorce in California, you are guaranteed at least six months before the divorce is finalized, as well as an equal distribution of property. However, many states, such as Oregon, do not have a required length of time to finalize a divorce, and some rely on equitable distribution of assets, which means all assets are divided fairly, if not equally. Child Support California is one of thirty-five states that utilizes the Income Shares Model, basing child support on the combination of both parents as if they were still living together. Twelve states, on the other hand, implement a version of the Percentage of Income Model, which is based solely on the noncustodial parent’s income, while three others use a more complicated model known as the Melson Formula, which takes the parents needs into consideration as well as the child’s. Estate Law Many estate planning laws differ between states. These include: Holographic Wills California accepts holographic wills while others do not, or in the case of Florida, only do so if they meet all the requirements of a standard will. Simple Templates If you have a small or simple estate in California, you can fill out a basic template that doesn’t get too technical. In other states, all statutory requirements must be met regardless of the size of the estate. Probate Costs At upwards of $500, California tends to be one of the more expensive states to open probate. In other states, the cost can be less than $250 and attorney’s fees are based on a sliding scale in relation to the size of the estate. Business Whether it be protections for minority shareholders or differing Intrastate laws, you must understand the differences in state laws to run a successful business. For example, in order to merge with or acquire another company in California, a majority share of each class of stock is required, whereas in other states, such as Delaware, all classes can vote together, making it more preferable for investors. Also be prepared to pay the California franchise tax fee if you plan to conduct business in California as an LLC, regardless of where your business is licensed. As you can see, consistency among laws across states is nearly non-existent, which is why you always want to have a great lawyer by your side to help navigate these laws so you’re never caught unaware at the most inopportune time.

There is always an abundance of emotion in a time of crisis. Right now, as we attempt to navigate through the realities of the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us are faced with an extra amount of personal, financial and professional stress, anxiety, fear and uncertainty. Marriage is hard enough during regular times; it’s even more heightened in a time of crisis, especially one where outlets, such as sporting events, bars and churches, have been stripped away from us. With stay-at-home orders and shuttered business, spouses (and their children) are being forced to spend much more time together. This normally wouldn’t be considered a bad thing, but in this environment, coupled with financial strains, many people may believe the only way out is through divorce. However, major life changes should never be made in heightened emotional situations. Though this type of decision may feel right at the time, it will almost always lead to regret, and possibly depression, once the crisis has subsided. Before making the rash decision to file for divorce in a time of crisis, consider the positive aspects of marriage and what you can do to help it successfully survive the pandemic. Communicate Openly and Often What you don’t say can be as harmful as what you do say. Having a strong foundation of communication, whether with your spouse, a friend or family, will help you start thinking rationally about how the current situation is affecting you and your relationship. It may be hard, but it’s important that you find a way to express yourself. More importantly, always take your spouse’s fears, dreams and frustrations into consideration. You aren’t the only one feeling the stress of the situation. Doing so can help each of you find a new way to release the negative energy that may be festering beneath the surface. Start or Resume a Hobby Whether it be gardening, household repairs or journaling, giving yourself something to do alone can help relieve the stress that’s building up individually and as a couple. Find Fun Things To Do Together Laugh, dance, watch Netflix, go for a walk — anything that removes you from the stress of the situation. Share in Parenting Duties Take turns teaching and spending time with your children. This will allow your spouse some much needed alone time. The Exception to the Rule – Abuse No one should remain in a marriage or a relationship with an abusive spouse. Mentally or physically, abuse is amplified in a crisis situation. If you are in an abusive relationship, please contact the authorities or talk to a lawyer to learn about your rights, how to safely escape your situation, and get legal protection. The thing to remember is, filing for divorce to save your marriage is never the answer, yet no two situations are the same. If you have questions, please feel free to consult King Law Firm Attorneys at Law via phone, online or in person. For more on this topic, check out our quick video.

The holidays can be either a relaxing get-away from your busy schedule or an extremely stressful proposition. Regardless of how you may feel, being around family is a great time to discuss major decisions with those that care about your future, as well as assess any potential issues that may have gone unnoticed during the hustle and bustle of your everyday life. Wills and Trusts It’s never too early to make sure members of your family have a will or living trust in place. It may seem simple, but there is quite a lot that goes into creating a will or trust that may not have immediately been considered. To begin, there are various types of wills and trusts, so figuring out which one is best suited for your needs is an important step. Then an executor or trustee must be designated, beneficiaries and heirs must be named, a list of assets must be drafted, and custody arrangements must be made, not to mention the possibility for charity contributions, business transfers and other legal matters that need to be addressed. Divorce Options Is one of your in-laws missing at the family Christmas party? Does one of your siblings continually complain about there spouse? Perhaps it’s time to discuss the possibility of divorce. It may be a difficult conversation to have, but if someone is unhappy, it may be time to break free of that negative energy. Discussing matters such as contestation, mediation, court proceedings, custody plans, asset distribution, and how to deliver the news to any children involved prior to filing any paperwork is a strong start in understanding what toll this process might take. Adoption Considerations The announcement of a pregnancy can occasionally trigger others to contemplate raising a child. Discussing these thoughts with family can help curb any fleeting decisions, but once it’s clear they are serious, it’s time to discuss the rewards and challenges of each age group and race or culture, whether or not there are strong financial and support systems in place, and how a child may affect the parent’s everyday lifestyle. Business Needs and Contracts One New Year’s resolution many people have is starting their own business or reevaluating current business plans and contracts. Either way, this is no easy feat. There are many things to consider when starting a new business: understanding the industry; figuring out your target market; choosing the business entity; building a business plan; working out the financial burdens; finding investors or business partners; and purchasing the right insurances to cover potential risks to the business. Most of all, you want to make sure you’re absolutely ready; and talking everything out with family is a good place to start. King Law Firm Attorneys at Law, Inc. is ready to discuss any of these issues with you over the holiday season and help give you peace of mind as we head into the new year. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

With the holiday season fast approaching, let’s take a look at three holiday films that feature separated families and what we can learn when it comes to dating, building unique relationships, and creating new traditions with your kids. Dutch (1991) Introducing a new significant other to your child can be a tricky situation. In Dutch, Natalie (JoBeth Williams) sends her boyfriend (Ed O’Neill), to pick up her son (Ethan Embry) from boarding school for Thanksgiving. This probably wouldn’t be an issue if her son knew her boyfriend was even a part of Natalie’s life. This is not the way you want to handle such a sensitive situation. It takes time for a child to bond with someone new because they may believe you’re trying to replace their other parent. Allow your child to get comfortable with the idea and make sure the relationship is going to last before introducing them. It’s also a good idea to introduce them in a group setting, where they won’t feel pressured or uncomfortable. Bottom line, throwing someone new into your child’s life unexpectedly is a good way to get shot with a BB gun. The Santa Clause (1994) There are many reasons why a couple grows apart. Whatever that reason, it shouldn’t affect the relationship your ex and your child. No matter how much you may not like it, each parent will have different ideas about how to raise their child. This isn’t wrong, it’s just their unique way of bonding. In The Santa Clause, Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) becomes the new Santa after accidentally causing the old Santa to fall from his roof. This identity change scares his ex-wife (Wendy Crewson), leading her to strip Scott of his custody. However, just because you may feel aspects of the relationship are eccentric, it doesn’t mean the parent is negatively harming the child. Keep communication open and allow the relationship between your ex and your child to grow into what it’s meant to be. After all, forcing your child from a parent they love may just be what sends them running off to the North Pole. Four Christmases (2008) Figuring out custody during the holidays can be a difficult process, especially when each parent has traditions they want to preserve. The best thing to do is maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse so you can create a holiday schedule that works best for everyone. In Four Christmases, the dilemma becomes, do Brad and Kate (Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon) go on a tropical vacation or visit all four of their separated parents over Christmas? No one wants their child to be miserable during the holidays, so do what you can to accommodate your wishes with that of the child. Whatever the compromise, be creative and always make sure you’re putting the child’s needs first. Otherwise, when the kids are all grown up, they may rather spend the holidays on a tropical island.

A prenup for a pet? Why? Because you love your pet. We know you do. Whether it be a dog, a cat or even a horse, they aren’t just a piece of property you have to walk and feed. They bring joy, comfort and friendship; the deep bond you form with your pet makes them an integral part of your family. Now imagine bringing a pet into a new relationship or deciding to adopt a pet after getting married. Both you and your significant other no doubt love the animal as much as you love one another. In some cases, your pets become your children. But then things take a turn for the worse. Arguments get heightened and you just want out of the relationship. As your lawyers begin to divide your property, your pet becomes a bargaining chip. Your significant other fights tooth and nail to keep the animal, while you refuse to give it up. Like your once brand-new couch, your hope for an amicable divorce is ripped to shreds. In recent years, custody battles over pets, especially with the millennial generation, is on the rise, as they choose to have pets over kids. This is why more and more couples are gravitating toward a prenup prior to the adoption of their new family member, so that they may avoid similar scenarios. A pet prenup can help decide who in the relationship will care and feed for the animal, pay for insurance and medical bills, take them to the veterinarian, and ultimately who would retain the pet in the event of a breakup or divorce. In most states, pets are still treated as property, making the prenup an iron-clad statement of ownership. However, California recently passed Assembly Bill 2274, which differentiates companion animals and pets from all other types of assets and allows the courts to judge the merits of ownership on the health and well-being of the animal, even with a prenup in place. Without a prenup in place, if your name is on the adoption documents, the animal is considered yours. However, if your spouse is the sole caretaker of the animal, the judge could conclude that the animal would be better suited to live with them. Having a prenup in place would help you better fight for the rights of the animal. Pet prenups may also include shared custody arrangements, which outline what custody would look like in the event of a divorce. If you have children, a shared custody arrangement would generally follow the child’s, giving comfort and stability to both the child and the pet. If you don’t have kids, custody arrangements are better when agreed upon prior to taking on the responsibility of pet ownership. Best of all, having a pet prenup can give you piece of mind and a healthier relationship with both your significant other and your pet. And isn’t that what we all really want?

You probably already know this, but divorce is never easy. Despite what you see in films and television, love and marriage aren’t always forever, and very rarely is a divorce a mutual endeavor. One side is inevitably going to be hurt by the other’s decision to leave. This does not mean, however, that a divorce has to be contentious. Anger, resentment and grief are all acceptable emotions when learning your spouse wishes to end your relationship; having the strength to manage these feelings in a courteous and objective manner can go a long way in diplomatically ending your marriage and moving forward with respect and dignity. What is a Diplomatic Divorce? A diplomatic divorce is an amicable divorce in which both parties agree to negotiate in good faith and without malice, coming to reasonable terms for child and spousal support, and division of assets without having to face a judge. This is also known as an uncontested divorce. What You Should Know When Beginning a Diplomatic Divorce Never focus on who may or may not be at fault; this is irrelevant. Placing blame or punishing your spouse will simply lead to additional anger and resentment. Instead, treat your divorce as a business traction — You had signed a contract to build a life together and now one partner wants to leave the company. This will help you focus on the positive as opposed to the negative. Figure out what is most important to you (not everyone around you) and set realistic goals and expectations with your spouse. Try not to squabble over semantics; if your spouse pushes buttons, take time to breathe before answering. Reasonable disagreements will occur; how you handle these disagreements is what will define whether the divorce is amicable or contentious. If you have children, keeping the proceedings civil will help them become more accustomed to their new lifestyle. It also allows for much more bearable custody arrangements. Being diplomatic and respectful does not mean that you and your spouse will ever be friends, nor does it mean you have to like the decision. It simply means you understand your spouse’s decision and love them enough to let them leave peacefully. It also does not mean you won’t feel hurt or need time to grieve. Moving forward amicably allows for a much quicker resolution and reduces the amount of time, stress and money that you must pour into the divorce. Some parties may wish to have a pro se divorce, which means each party handles all paperwork and arguments in a fair and amenable manner; others may need to acquire lawyers to handle all of the communication between the parties. Either way is perfectly acceptable. If you choose pro se, decide if you would like, or are required, to have a mediator to help resolve issues fairly; if you choose to hire attorneys, make sure both of them understand you want to end the marriage quickly, peacefully and amicably.

Still from "War of the Roses" With so much advice coming from all different directions — friends, family, lawyers, blogs — stress and confusion can keep you from making the most rational, logical decisions when going through a divorce. Sometimes it’s best to get out of your own head for a few hours, so we’ve compiled a few movies that might help put your current situation into perspective. The War of the Roses This film by Danny DeVito may not be the most obvious choice, but the fantastically dark tale of a couple (Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner) who turn their lives upside down just to spite the other offers a meditation on what not to do when going through a contentious divorce. Although DeVito (who also plays a divorce attorney) tries to convince his client to work through their issues with his wife by telling him the story of the Roses, no one should stay with someone they don’t trust or respect. So, if reconciliation is not an option, remember that strong communication and a willingness to compromise is key to a smooth, stress-free divorce. Mrs. Doubtfire Robin Williams portrays a man who goes to extreme lengths to spend time with his kids after separating from his wife in this Oscar-winning film. On the surface, dressing up as an old British woman may seem borderline psychotic, but deep down, it’s merely the desperation of a man willing to change everything if it means becoming a better father (and a better man). In most cases, each parent loves their child equally, so keeping one parent from being a part of their children’s lives can hurt both the child and parent. Of course, not all parents deserve to raise their children, but before making any rash decisions, take a step back and be open to making a reasonable decision based on how willing the other parent is at changing their life. Kramer vs. Kramer Another Oscar-winning film that deals with the parent-child relationship, this film focuses most of its energy on custody. Meryl Streep plays a woman who leaves her husband (Dustin Hoffman) and child (Justin Henry), then returns months later to reclaim custody after the two men have formed a deep bond. Your job as a parent is to make the divorce process as stress free as possible. When pettiness rears its ugly head and you tear down your spouse for personal gain, it can have lasting negative effects on a child. Also keep in mind that fathers also have rights that should be taken into account when deciding on custody. The moral of all these films is to remove hatred, fear, resentment and pettiness from the equation when dealing with divorce and work together to compromise efficiently and see the situation from the other point of view. In this way, you’re able to move through the process with ease and make everyone feel they’ve been heard and are happy with the outcome.

Divorce is hard on everyone involved, but no more so than the children. Because children are dependent on the parents to feel protected, a divorce can conjure up feelings of fear, anger and guilt — fear of change and an unknown future, anger over not having any control over the situation, and guilt over believing the divorce is their fault. These feelings may cause children to act out, become confrontational, or retreat inwardly and become withdrawn. To mitigate this emotional turmoil, here are a few things you should and shouldn’t do before, during and after the divorce process. What To Do: Talk to your children about the divorce in an age-appropriate manner, tailoring the message to their maturity level and temperament. Explain how everything will work moving forward, including living arrangements, and present an organized plan for moving forward. Make sure your child understands that the divorce is not their fault and that it doesn’t change how each parent will love and support them. Keep a united front with your spouse in front of the child, making sure to discuss the divorce without anger, blame or guilt. Allow your child to be upset and express their pain, fear and anger. Set limits and boundaries on behavior and hold them accountable for their actions. Give your child permission to spend time with and/or visit the other parent without feeling guilty or betrayal toward one or the other. Remain involved in your child’s life, including school, sports and extracurricular activities. What NOT To Do: Berate, criticize, threaten or otherwise talk negatively about your spouse in front of or directly to the child. Force your child to talk about the divorce with you or your spouse if they do not feel comfortable doing so. Overwhelm them with information they may not be able to handle mentally or emotionally. Discuss financial matters or divorce details in front of the children. Allow the child to get too far out of control or use the divorce as an excuse to act out. Disrupt or drastically change the child’s normal routine. Lie to your child or pretend things won’t change. Force your children to choose one parent over another. Put your children in the middle of fights, use them against or attempt to turn them against your spouse. Use your child as a go-between or messenger, or ask them to spy on your spouse. Force a new relationship on your child. Pour your emotions onto the child or give the impression that you need their support. Lavish your child with gifts to make them feel better. Above all else, remember that no matter how hard the divorce is on you, understand that this is very confusing and difficult for your child, so the easier and more comfortable the transition is for the child, the better it will be for everyone involved.